Restlessness, Homesickness, and Seeking God

Today has just been one of those days where I am antsy. I want to know what God has in store for my life and when it will happen and all the other specifics. I just want to know (yes, my spiritual gift is the patience of Job.....oh, wait.....that's not my gift....like, at all!)! I want to do what I love. I want to change the world. I want to know all that God has in store for me. I long to know what is beyond these high school years. I yearn for more. I am discontent, I just want to get on with God using me to do great things!
I got to really thinking about it and I think this is what it feels like to be homesick. As Christians, we are called to be content in our current circumstances, but also to not get too comfortable with the world, because the best is yet to come and it cannot compare to the world.
Here is what I think is the difference between Restlessness and Seeking God....
Restlessness is a result of discontentment. It is more than just wanting more; it is being unhappy with what you have in the here and now.
Seeking God is where you desire for more, yet you are content in your current circumstances. It's like being homesick....I can want to be home and miss home without having to dislike where I am at in this moment. I can seek to know what God has in store for me next without becoming discontent with what I have now.
I long for the day where there will be no more pain. I long for the day where I will see Jesus. I long for Heaven. I also long to see what God has in store for my life in the future. I long to know how I will spend the rest of my days when I get out high school. However, I am content with today, as well. I am content to bask in God's goodness in the here and now.
I feel like Paul must have felt when he said in Philippians 1:21-24..."For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better. I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live."
I know that God is using me in the here and now, yet I long for home. That is not sinful as long as I do not let it form into discontentment. God's timing is not my own and I am to be patient. However, I can eagerly anticipate all that God has in store for me.
This is merely my temporary home....I am just passing through!

Lessons in Love Part 2

As I said in my other post, God has been reteaching me what love is.
There have been several times this summer where God has not only shown me what real love is, He has also given me opportunities to put what I am learning into practice myself.

One instance of this has been with someone that I do not particularly like, but seems to keep coming across my path. Isn't it funny how the harder you try to avoid someone, the more God seems to put them in your path?

I have been able to comfort this person in several instances. I will be honest, I would never have chosen to do this, but God has a way of convincing people to do things that they really need to do.

To be able to see people the way God does is humbling and doesn't happen often. It did in this instance. I realized just how hard I am on this person. They are human and made in God's image. God has great plans for them. Just because they look okay, doesn't mean they are.

It really showed me how I need to work on my heart attitude. I love people, but love is not selective. It is unbiased and all including.

I also had opportunities to work with children in many different scenarios this summer. Children have some of the biggest hearts! They trust so easily and love seemingly unconditionally. Being human, I cannot ever trust that easily; I have seen too much, but if I could love half that much, I could change the world!

God has placed so many people in my life to teach me what real love is and to let me put into practice what I am learning. This is not so I can go out and date or become a super love woman, but so I can molded into the woman God wants me to be.

How awesome to see God care about a gal like me enough to show me just how all consuming and precious genuine and real love can be!

"Love" is often associated with 1 Corinthians 13 and that is okay, but I think the concept is lost in our world. 1 Corinthians 13 is used so much that it has become cliché. 1 Corinthians 13 tells what love DOES, not what love IS. We say it without truly thinking about it.

Mark 12:31 tells what love is. It is "loving your neighbor as you love yourself." As I mentioned before, I had to learn that you cannot love others if you do not love yourself. I have been told that throughout my life, but it really came alive for me when I heard a sermon that addressed this issue.

Love isn't just some feeling. It isn't something that should be taken lightly. It deserves respect and to be treasured.

People throw the term, "I love you" around all the time, but I was so challenged this summer to not just say that, but to mean it. Yes, you should say it often, but you also should mean it. It's like saying, "I like your dress" but not really meaning it. It looses its significance.

It has been a very eventful and busy summer. As it is coming to a close, I find myself looking back in gratitude at all the things God has taught me. You never stop learning. I have a feeling that I have barely even begun to grasp the true expanse of what "love" is, but it is a start.

Above all else, I have learned that no one can love you as rightly or deeply as God can. He died for me! What higher act of love could I ask for?

God is the Creator and Author of love. He is the definition of love. He is the only true fulfiller of the love I so long for and desire.

May I take what I have and am learning and go and love others now. They will know that I am a Christian by my love, after all!

 

 

To Be Seen

Every human that has ever lived and will ever lived has a desire to love and be loved. This is how God created us to be. We all have a desire to be heard, understood, loved, and seen.

As Christians, we understand that God hears exactly what we say and a lot that we don't say. We understand that God knows our deepest thoughts and what makes us tick. He loves us more than mere words can begin to express. He sees everything that we never show people and He also sees the heart and soul of us.

However, just because we believe that does not mean we do not want to be loved for who we are by human beings. I don't think anything is wrong with wanting to feel like others love you and appreciate you for who you really are, not just what you do or what you can give.

God has wired us to crave affection; we are made to feel loved and give love. However, we must balance a need to express that desire and understand that it is only Christ who can give us the full satisfaction of knowing love and only He can show us how to properly express love.

It is difficult to explain...but as Christians, we have to realize that we are not the most liked people around. God's truth is not a commonly accepted concept.

People who are sold out for God can never look like people of the world. We are set apart. This means that though we crave human love and affection, we may have to settle for the fact that God will provide our every need as He sees fit. That may not include someone who loves you the way you desire.

However, do not let this discourage you! God sees you...REALLY sees you and He will not let your faithfulness go unrewarded. He who sees and knows all things has called you. He is faithful. He will not leave you hanging. The Maker and definition of love Himself with satisfy your every need. Choose to trust Him with your heart; He will never abuse it.

 

I Found Love In Guatemala

I've been home now from Guatemala for 3 days. I already miss it.
I missed my country music while I was in Guatemala. I missed my family. I missed hanging out with my friends. I missed diet drinks. I missed being alone and walking aimlessly thinking. I missed being able to drink out of the faucet (yes, some of us do that ). I missed listening to Christian music in English.
However, for all I missed, there were so many things that I miss about Guatemala now that I am home. I miss NOT having a TV. I miss not having a set schedule. I miss the easy way people connected. I miss the kids and their adoration and kisses. I miss not feeling like I had to look perfect or wear any make up every day. I miss singing out of tune to songs on the guitar and yet having more fun than if we did it perfectly. I miss shameless worship that wasn't about how well you sang, but was about who you were worshiping. I miss practicing dramas.I miss doing puzzles and coloring. I miss braiding girl's hair. I miss the deep appreciation that I saw everywhere for things that we take for granted or worse....complain about. I miss seeing people that don't even have a fraction of what I, myself, actually own, and yet they are truly happy. I miss winding roads and gorgeous views. I miss singing in Spanish. I miss seeing how love crosses any language barriers. I miss sitting in the backseat of the truck for an hour coming to and an hour going from our set destination and just talking about whatever. I miss deep thoughts and talking about the mundane. I miss being together with 16 other people around the table at dinner and hearing all the laughter and multiple conversations. I miss the inside jokes and the deep friendships that were made. I miss playing just to play. I miss the smiles of the children and the light that came into their eyes when you did something that surprised them. I miss the conversations in Spanish and English. I miss the little things and laughing hysterically over kazoos and totugas. I miss my chickitas. I miss having God parties and having the freedom to get excited over the little things that I saw do that really weren't so little.
Yes, there are a lot of things that I have a new appreciation for and miss so much. I will never forget Guatemala and Lord willing, I will return again soon. I am so grateful that God gave me the experiences He did. It was a Mission Trip that I will never forget.
I found love in Guatemala.

This sweet girl stole my heart. Every morning she would great me by running up and flinging her arms around my neck and laying her head on my chest. Every day before she left, she would give me at least one kiss.




This was the guy who was like a brother to me during our trip. He took the time to care.This is him attempting to braid my hair. He did pretty well, if I do say so myself :)

Team photo with the children. The rain wasn't the only form of water that day.

Lessons in Love Part 1

Ever had one of those "Ah-ha" moments where you knew something was part of something bigger and then you suddenly just realized what it was one day? I had one of those moments on the plane coming back from Guatemala.
Remember: This is my heart and I am very real about what God is doing in my life; so if you don't like that sort of thing, I would stop reading now.
This summer, God has been teaching me a lot about love. In middle school, I made a commitment to stay pure until my wedding night.
Then earlier this year, I made a commitment to not kiss until I was engaged because a kiss for me is a piece of my heart that is treasured and should never be given flippantly.
Anywho, I started the summer somewhat discouraged because so many of the teenagers around me are dating and I just felt as though my standards might be to high and that I may have to lower them in order to find a guy who would date me. I wanted a man, not a boy. A mature man who is kind and selfless and sold out for Jesus. I want him to see me because He is so focused on God and God directs him my way.
This summer God brought several incredible younger guys (my general age) into my life that are sold out for God. All of them were awesome...and not single...
God also showed me on multiple occasions what selfless love really looks like.
He showed me that you cannot identify true love until you know the Maker of love. You also cannot properly and fully love others until you learn to love yourself.
On a multiple occasions, He overwhelmed me and wrecked me with His love. He brought me to a place where I couldn't do anything but bask in His love and fall to my knees because I was so overwhelmed.
I knew that God was showing me something big, but it didn't come full circle until I was on the plane. When it did, I felt like a light just came on and it made my whole summer make sense!
I realized that God was pretty much "reteaching" me what real love is.
It isn't something to be taken lightly or to be used carelessly. It is sacred and beautiful...
To be continued...

Choosing to Worship

The definition of worship is as follows:

Worship
: to honor or respect (someone or something) as a god

: to show respect and love for God or for a god especially by praying, having religious services, etc.

 

Worship doesn't just happen, it is a choice. I thought about that a lot at summer camp this year with my youth group.

 

There are and have been many moments in my life where I wanted to do anything but lift my hands to God. There are many moments where it would be easier to let my mind wander during a song than sing it from the heart. There have been many moments where it would have been easier to throw up my hands in defeat than take it to the Lord in prayer. However, God is not some fair weather friend!

 

We serve a God who is worthy of worship in the good times as well as the bad. In the good times, I have to choose to worship Him and in the bad times, I have to choose to worship Him. Yep, there are most certainly days where I have to really make an effort to worship God and sometimes I can muster little more than the name of Jesus, but worship isn't about how extravagant you express your devotion, but in your sincerity and in whom you express it to.

 

One of my absolute favorite quotes in one of my favorite movies is about this....

 

"I want God to bless this team so much people will talk about what He did. But it means we gotta give Him our best in every area. And if we win, we praise Him. And if we lose, we praise Him. Either way we honor Him with our actions and our attitudes. So I'm askin' you... What are you living for? I resolve to give God everything I've got, then I'll leave the results up to Him. I want to know if you'll join me." -Facing The Giants 

 

In this quote the main character is asking his team to choose to worship God no matter what the outcome of something is. If we choose and strive to always sincerely worship God no matter what, He will bless us. 

Whether it is in loud shouts of praise to Him or the silent prayer; whether it is in the hands raised or being face down; whether it is in song or in the silence; choose to worship Him in all things!

 

 

 

 

 

I've learned poem

I did not write this, but I can relate to so much of it, that I figured I would reshare what one of my FB friends shared :)

"I've learned"
I've learned-
That you cannot make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
I've learned-
That it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. That it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned -
That you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you better know something. That you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do. That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned-
That it's taking me a long time to become the person that I want to be. That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned-
That you can keep going long after you can't. That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned-
That either you control your attitude or it controls you. That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is a first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I've learned-
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned-
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time. That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you are down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned-
That sometimes when I get angry I have the right to be angry, but it doesn't give me the right to be cruel. That true friendship continues to grow over the longest distance, and the same goes for true love.
I've learned-
That just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned-
That you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what tragedy it would be if they believed it. That no matter how good your friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while, and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned-
That it isn't always good enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you must learn to forgive yourself. That no matter how bad a heart is broken; the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned-
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for whom we become. That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean that they don't love each other, and just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned-
That we don't have to change friends, if we understand that friends change. That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned-
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you. That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I've learned-
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
That the people you care about the most in life are taken from you too soon.
I've learned-
That it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting someone's feelings or standing up for what you believe. I've learned-
That life's lessons never end and wisdom can always be passed on.
- Susane Pieffer

Let God Work

As Christians, it is quite natural to many of  us to comfort those who we see are hurting. God has called us to do that. Some of us are better at it than others, but none of us want to see someone else in pain. It is something that is necessary and important.

However, this week at camp, I was told something that really made me stop and think.....sometimes God is dealing with someone and in that moment our comfort does more harm than good. Let me explain...

Sometimes we are so quick to jump in and comfort someone when we see them reduced to tears in a situation or if we see someone struggling with something, we try to minimize it to make them feel better. I am not saying that this is wrong, but time and place are SOOOOO important!

God sometimes convicts someone of something and we need to just let God work. This is especially hard for me, personally. I hurt for those who are hurting and I really try to go out of my way to show them love and be there for them, but I think sometimes I need to be more careful about how I go about that.

What I mean to be good, may end up causing more harm than anything else. Now, some of you are probably thinking that I have really overthought this, but think about this....

If someone you loved dearly was to die, would comfort really help? I mean, it is good and kind and should be offered, but it is honestly a temporary band aid. At some point, you will have to face the fact that the one you love is truly gone and you'll have to work through those emotions. No kind words will take the obvious away: The person you love is dead.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't comfort and love on each other (The Bible commands us to do so and it is important to support each other in the body of Christ), but we must also seek God in how to go about loving on someone. Sometimes it is better to leave that person to God and wait to comfort them because they need to face reality (Such as: If I were to steal something, time does not make me want to return the item more, it just gives me more time to make excuses!) We need to let people be responsible for their sin (if that is the cause of their pain), but more than that.....we need to realize that only God can comfort in a way that changes lives. Only He knows the heart of a person and only He can comfort someone in the way they truly need.

Yes, we need to learn to comfort people (Some of us need a longer lesson in this than others), but we also need to learn to seek God when we do it so we do not interfere with what He is doing.

Student Life Camp Lessons

"Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them." Deuteronomy 4:9

My youth group just spent 5 days at the Ridgecrest Conference Center letting God fill us and climbing over hills and mountains (literal and figuratively).
This week has been fanominal. I really think that God has just been showing off so far this summer........
The pastor didn't go by any kind of program; he was on fire with God and did whatever He felt God told Him to do. My small group was sweet and a breathe of fresh air and the band was awesome too.
It was an awesome week of revival and answered prayers. I had prayed that God would move in our youth that went and cause revival and man, did He answer!
God moves in little ways, but sometimes He just overwhelms you with His love.
He brought me to my knees one night and let me cry all the tears that I was unable to cry this year. In that, He brought healing.
He brought some southern gentlemen into my small group that were deeply in love with Jesus. It showed me that not all guys are jerks. Some really do care about others and the Lord. God really seems to be pressing this point with me A LOT lately......
He showed me that He will open doors if you ask. It showed me that God can answer prayers in ways that you cannot imagine.
He showed me that everyone has a story....... And beauty can come from ashes
He showed me how freeing it can be to raise my hands and dance and praise the Lord.
He showed me that God allows us to cry and laugh in His proper time, sometimes in the same moment.
These are just a few things He showed me this week and I cannot wait to see what God has in store as I lead Mission's Week and prepare for my Mission Trip to Guatemala.
Man....I serve an awesome God and He is just humbling me and blowing me away with what He's doing!
I am sure I will talk more about what God did a lot in the days to come.