2015 Review - A Year of Growing

Goodness! 2015 has been a big year! I finished my Junior year of high school and started my Senior year. I worked at Boy Scout camp. I slept in a tent most of the summer. I started courting. I learned a lot, cried a lot, laughed a lot, and grew a lot.

Here are some things I learned this year:

Saying "no" is okay. You would think that saying "no" would be easier, but unfortunately it is a developed skill. I don't know how it happened, but I found that I was okay with saying "no." Not just to things, but also people.

Bouncing off that, I also learned to value myself. When you start (it's always a process, never a destination) learning how to say "no" to things and people, you learn how to value yourself. You learn that being put down is not okay. You may not be able to stand up to that person, but you don't have to swallow all they have to say (again, this is a constant process). Learning to filter hurtful words is important and something I am really bad at. However, it is crucial to growth.

Another thing I learned is that God has a sense of humor. I worked at a BOY SCOUT CAMP! Like, whattttttt??? I still can't believe I did that. I swore to myself and everyone else that I wouldn't, but when God wants you to go somewhere, he is incredibly persistent even when you try and fight Him!

I also swore to anyone who would listen (people, rocks, trees, walls, etc.) that I wouldn't get a boyfriend this summer. Yes, I was working at the ideal place to have any guy of my choosing, but that simply wasn't why I was there! I had a job to do. So camp goes along, I get home, am relentlessly pursued by this guy, wrestle with God again (you would think that I would learn!) and wind up with a boyfriend.

There are times I swear that my life is more of a comedy act than anything else!

Courage and leaps of faith are yet another thing I learned a lot about this year. It takes a lot of courage and faith to go somewhere where you may be rejected and put down. It takes a lot of courage and faith to step into the unknown. It takes a lot of courage and faith to love people without expectations. And, on a humorous note, it takes a lot of courage and faith to sleep in a tent where dozens and dozens of large grasshoppers line the walls. That may have taken more courage that anything else!

Lastly, I would like to mention that I learned that in order to live boldly, courageously, hopefully, faithfully, lovingly, and understanding of my value, I have to live in Christ. Constantly and intentionally.

I heard an illustration recently of a bicycle wheel. When Christ is the center of the wheel, all the spokes on that wheel reflect Him. They run well because of who He is. When we try to make God one of the spokes and put ourselves or something else at the center of the wheel, things go wrong and plans fail. I would not be who or where I am now without Christ. Did I mess up often this year? Definitely. Did I put myself and other things at the center of that wheel? Yes. But we serve a very faithful and patient God who takes us back each and every time we fail.

May you be able to look back and see how God worked this past year as you look forward into this upcoming year!

A Different Kind Of Christmas Post: Come As You Are

I posted this blog post this time last year. I thought it still rang very true so I updated and tweaked it a bit and decided to repost it for this Christmas. Enjoy!

Christmas Eve dawns wet and dreary here, but it cannot dim the joy of Christmas in my heart.

However, among the lights, trees, family, and joy, tears flow and a dull ache is found in the hearts of many. Over the past month, I have become more and more aware of those who spend Christmas in pain. It is not that there is no joy (though for some, I know that is the case), but it is a joy that is overshadowed by pain. Like a silent shadow, it sometimes fades, but it is always present ... haunting the minds and hearts of many.

It reminds me of the birth of our Savior.

Christ was born into our world like any other baby; it was painful and tedious. He was born in the lowliest of places ... a stable for barn animals. There was little comfort to be found for Mary and Joseph that night.

Sometimes I feel like we sugar coat the pain of Christ's unusual birth and agonizing death and just skip to who He was and is. Not that that aspect is not important, but we cannot fully appreciate who Jesus is and what He has done until we understand the pain He went through in the process.

Hebrews 4:15 comes to mind: "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with us..."

Christ knows our pain. Just think on that for a moment.

He felt the pain of being born into a world that did not know Him. He was crucified like a criminal on a cross after being beaten within an inch of His life. He was perfect, and yet, never did He receive any of the honor and respect that He deserved.

From birth to death, He was humble, loving, a ray of hope, our Savior and intercessor. He deserved to be treated like a King and yet, He never demanded that treatment and He was certainly never given it. He was treated like a lunatic, a liar, and worse ... a criminal.

Dear One, God understands your pain! He sees those silent tears. He sees the haunting memories. He sees the brokenhearted. He sees the lonely. He sees the distressed. He sees those who have regrets. He sees the abused. He sees those who are fighting uncertain battles. He sees those who need proof of who He is. He sees those who need a miracle. He sees those who are weary.

He sees YOU where you are at! Do not think for one second, that no one can understand your pain.

He understands.

Stop running! Stop trying to fight these battles alone! God's Son came on Christmas to show that He is with us.

Matthew 1:23 says, "Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a Son, and they will call him Immanuel, which means 'God is with us.'"

That word "us" means you and me.

As we go about this season of joy and cheer, we can find assurance in the fact that the beauty of Christ's birth can be found in the fact that the Savior of the world came to meet us where we are at, no matter where that may be.

1 Peter 5:7 says that we can "give all our worries and cares to the Lord because He cares for us."

We can bring Him our tears, our uncertainty, our pain, and our doubts.

He wants us as we are.

That is why He came and that is why we can take refuge in Him this Christmas and always.

 

Merry Christmas; I am praying for you!

"A Different Kind of Christmas"

Mark Schultz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImDIZ8GB1tg



My Thanksgiving Post

Turkeys, leaves, family, friends, food galore, football games, talking, laughing, being thankful.

I have always loved Thanksgiving. It is just a nice reminder to pause and think about all that I am thankful for. This year, especially, I find myself being extra thankful. Maybe it's the fact that I graduate in less than 7 months. Maybe it's the fact that I realize anew how fleeting life is. Maybe I finally understand how blessed I am. I don't really know, but I do know that I am very thankful.

I wanted to share with you some of the things I am extra thankful for this year.

1. My Lord and Savior. He is the reason that I am here. He is the reason I have hope in this life and beyond. He is the prime example and very definition of love and service. He is my Heavenly father, my King, my God, the Keeper of my Heart ... my Everything.
2. My biological family. Oh my stars! The laughter, the goofiness, the smiles, the deep talks. The selflessness of my mother. The loyalty and courage of my father. The fighting spirit of my brother. The sweetness and humor of my other brother. How grateful I am for them. They've always been there and they will be for as long as God allows. They discipline me, encourage me, and are where I always know I am welcome.
3. My Christian family. These are the people who never cease to encourage my heart and point me to God. They affirm me and watch my back. They challenge me and push me to never settle for less than God's best. I am a firm believer in the fact that I wouldn't be half the woman I am becoming without them.
4. My Courter. God saw fit to bless me with a man who desired to court me. I wasn't looking for him and I turned him down many times, even still he has stayed and pursued me everyday. He challenges me, encourages me, and points me to the Lord. What an unexpected and unspeakable blessing!
5. Open doors. Even when I chose to ignore them, God still had His way. The best moments of this past year have been where God opened doors and despite fear and doubt, I still walked through them (at times God pushed me violently through them). Those were the best things I could have done. Had I not, I can't imagine how different my life would be right now!
6. Closed doors. Despite the tears, frustration, and, at times, downright anger, I am so thankful for the doors God closed, bolted, locked, and sealed with steel. I did not understand the reason for them all, but I know that they were God's best. They were also the push I sometimes needed to get me through the open doors I had refused to acknowledge.
7. Little moments: Singing to country music in a van full of students, baking cranberry bread, a new pair of earrings, a good book, a long conversation, Sour Patch kids candy, writing a letter, hoodies, sunsets, bonfires, stars, Cheez-It crackers, a fuzzy blanket, a warm hug, a baby smiling.....the things that are not necessary for life, but make it more enjoyable; the things memories are made of

For all these things and many more I thank God for this Thanksgiving. May Thanksgiving be more than a day for us, but something we do daily. There is definitely never a shortage of things we can be thankful for!

 

"And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:20

Coffee Cups And The Reason For The Season

Yes, I know, you have heard multiple views on this topic: Starbucks and their lack of Christmasy spirit. Why? Because their cups are red and don't have any Christmasy words and the company itself lacks Christmas spirit. Horrors of horrors!

Last time I checked, businesses could have whatever color cups they want and if they choose to acknowledge the Christ part of Christmas, than good for them! If not, then that doesn't define their products or service.

See, this isn't about cups or the phrase "Merry Christmas." It's about our attitude.

For me, Christmas has always been an exciting time. I love the atmosphere and Christmas treats. I love "elfing" (my term for buying and giving gifts). I love the family time and the decorations. I especially love Christmas music (which I, of course, start listening to in August....yep, I am one of THOSE people!). However, the part I love about Christmas most is that it isn't merrily a time of year, but a way of life.

Christmas has a lot of nice bells and whistles, but it really is about the One we serve. And last time I checked, that was Christ not Christmasy cups.

Sure, I like Christmasy everything and I like it when people wish me a "Merry Christmas," but that isn't the determining point of my celebration. Not at Christmas or anytime of the year!

The quote that comes to mind when I think on this topic is from Mahatma Gandhi, “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” 

I want to be like Christ, ya'll. My celebration is because of and in Christ. It isn't based on the time of year, but on the One who lives inside of me. Frankly, it annoys me when I see people bashing non-Christian companies (or even Christian companies) for not having enough Christmas spirit. I understand the intent is to point out the meaning of the season, but bashing and criticizing is not the way to go about that.

The best way to be a Light and show the reason for celebration is to walk your talk.

• Be kind.
• Say Merry Christmas and mean it.
• Hold open a door
• Share a smile
• Welcome the new neighbor
• Tip generously
• Help the mother with two children carry her bags to her car
• Return a cart that is in the middle of a parking lot
• Be patient

1 John 3:18 says it best, "Dear children, let's not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions."

As I said, the problem is not the lack of Christmas. The problem is our attitudes.

Bashing and criticizing in the Name of Christ is not going to change the world. It's just going to put people down and make people wonder what kind of God we serve who would compel us to act that way. The Heart of Christmas is Christ and that's something worth celebrating everyday.

The (Not So) Glamorous Days In The Life Of Lydia

***The tone of this post is humor, so please do not take me or yourself too seriously when you read it.***

This week has just been one of those weeks (again). I wonder how people can truly survive without laughter because it is the reason I maintain some sense of sanity (whatever that is....).

 

Yesterday, I literally fell out of bed getting up for the day. You just have to love grace and all those things it takes to climb out of bed......things I obviously did not have yesterday.

 

I did, however, manage to make it to Cycle class and not fall off the bike, which has happened before (please do not burst my bubble by pointing out that a cycle bike doesn't move....).

 

I came home and discovered that I had been assigned to memorize a poem and record it for my AP Literature Class. I can hardly remember my name some days, how am I supposed to memorize a poem....in two weeks no less!

 

Today, I managed not to fall out of bed....my self-esteem started out the day pretty high you could say. I wore my favorite hoodie just to celebrate (not really....it was just what was closest when I climbed out of bed).

 

Of course, that didn't last very long because Virginia weather is terribly bi-polar and it is not uncommon to go through all four seasons in one day. I went from a hoodie to a long sleeve shirt to a short sleeve "flowy" blouse to whatever I grabbed after spilling something on my "flow."

 

I totally killed (as in tortured) an apostrophe quiz in my AP course because floating commas confuse me and I have the attention span of a gnat. I studied beforehand but all the terms got jumbled in my head and the floating commas just floated all over the place.

 

I then decided to paint my nails (I don't know why, sometimes you just have got to do something wacky in the middle of your day.....plus I can multi-task while they dry).....of course, picking a color is a whole three hour ordeal, especially when you own practically every color of nail polish invented.....EXCEPT the one you want to use!

 

So my nails are now black. Why? Because black goes with everything and I couldn't decide and if you're going to wear a white shirt, you might as well paint your nails black while wearing your white shirt. Living dangerous/adventurously and all that.

 

Now I am sitting here typing this out instead of studying that poem I talked about that I need to memorize. My hair looks like it has a bird or two are living in it and I haven't put on make-up today; I am horribly disorganized and frazzled and I have no idea what the rest of my day will hold. Even still, I am blessed.

 

Even in the craziness and disappointment and less than graceful moments, I serve a good God. He made laughter so I could laugh instead of cry during my (not so) glamorous days. I feel like even God is laughing this week.

 

Oh well, we all have our (not so) glamorous days....some more than others. God has a way of working everything out and making everything beautiful in its time....even messy hair, black nails, graceless moments, and crazy floating commas.

 

And that is the current sum of the (not so) glamorous day(s) in the life of Lydia.

 

What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Ecclesiastes 3:9-11

 

A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.

Proverbs 15:13

Living in Limbo

It has been awhile since I have written anything in here; not because I lack inspiration, but because I can't seem to get my thoughts together long enough to write anything.

 

That being said, I still don't really have all my thoughts in one place....

 

I feel like I am living in limbo.

 

I am thinking about what I will do after high school, when I will learn how to drive, what and where my summer job will be, and a whole list of other things.

 

At the moment, I am not sure whether I want to go to college and if I do, what my end goal is. If I don't, what am I going to do then?

 

I don't know when I am going to get my driver's license. The DMV is not being kind and I may not be driving by myself before I turn 19 because of it.

 

I applied for a summer job in Florida, but I don't know if I will get accepted and if I do, how are all the details going to come together? Can I emotionally handle a job like that away from home for two months? If I don't go, will I have to be working in a retail store or a restaurant?

 

On top of that, school is not as easy as I had hoped this year and I am not as good at English as I had thought (which is the AP course I am taking). My self-esteem feels like it is slowly being stripped and be self-confidence is practically non-existent.

 

So basically, I am frustrated and just very much tired of living in limbo. My worrying isn't going to help anything, but at the same time, I am at an impasse. I am doing the very best I can with what I have to work with, where I am. Yet, at the end of the day, I still have questions that go unanswered and a future that does not look very inviting. I am not even sure what to pray for anymore! This adulthood thing is not going well, people.

 

Do I know that God will provide all the answers in His time? Yes. I just wish He would provide faster. Do I know that my identity is in Christ? Yes. I know who I am, I just wish I knew what I was going to do with that. Do I know that God holds my future and He goes with me? Yes. I just wish I had some idea what that would entail. I am living in the limbo by circumstance, not choice.

 

I feel like a child who has been put in time-out until Dad gets home. I don't want to be here and I don't see why I am. I don't know what exactly is going to happen when Dad gets home. All I know is that I am hoping for the best and doing a lot of praying.

 

Living in limbo is crazy. It causes you to lose any sanity you claim to have. You cry a lot, you are frustrated a lot, and you pray a lot. You hate it, but yet you have to cling to God. You have to trust Him in the limbo. You aren't required to like it, but you are required to be listening and growing.

 

Patience has never been my strongest attribute. Neither has been walking in faith. Once I get there, I am okay, but it is getting there that scares me so much. I am sure God is teaching me many valuable lessons right now and I am sure He will reveal all the answers that I need in His time.

 

Until then, I will go back to my time-out corner and hope and pray. It is all I can do.

 

"We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it.  But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. 

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:24 

 

 

Following Christ: Difficult But Worth It

“The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried.” – G. K. Chesterton; Chapter 5 of What’s Wrong With the World, 1910

If you ever have a moment or two, go Google G.K. Chesterton. He was one of the best writers of the 20th century and you will find that most, if not everything that he wrote, can be applied as much now as it was then.

I chose this quote to write on because it rings so true.

Many people study religion. Many people spend a lifetime gathering information and facts. Yet, I think it would amaze us how few of those people actually learned something and where sincerely changed by what they learned.

Everyone is our culture has something to say about everything.....from what clothes we should or should not wear, to who should be the next president. No one is shy in sharing their opinions. We live in a very bold and opinionated time.

Even still, we hear so little about this Deity that so many people call God. Sure, there are many murmurs about Jesus being a good man and living a good life. When I hear those murmurs, I just shake my head.

I believe C.S. Lewis worded it best:

“I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say.

A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse.

You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.”

See, none of us can make the claim that Christ was merely a good teacher; it is not logical or practical! Even if it was, the Christian ideals are not based off good teachings.

In our culture, people like compliments. They like to hear what sounds good and what makes them feel good. Dear one, when you read through the Bible, it is going to hurt. Truth cuts through the fluff and stuff and gets right to the point. People say the Bible has gone out of style, but the truth is that the Bible hasn't gone out of style, it just doesn't give us warm fuzzies when we read it because it shows us where we fall short and are in desperate need of grace.

Following Christ, being changed from the inside out, and understanding your daily need for a Savior is painful. It is not easy. I like easy and I like comfortable, but following Christ is neither of those.

When people hit something new or difficult, their instinct is to give up or sit down before things get worse. That isn't how following Christ works. Anyone who has become someone of character has had to persevere through something.

Dear one, our God is not so small that we cannot test Him or question Him. Psalm 34:8 says, "Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!"

God desires for us to have all the blessings that He has to offer, which are too many for human minds to fathom, but first we have to take a leap of faith; we have to dig into God's Word and ask the hard questions.

Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? More than mere words can say.

Standing for Truth

***Disclaimer: Not for the faint of heart. God's truth is about to get said and the hard questions are going to be asked. Read at your own discretion.***

My heart is heavy this week. I look around my world and my heart feels broken over the sin I see.

Homosexuality is on the rise. My first elementary school crush and another good friend that I grew up with are now saying they are gay. They have relationships with their own gender.

The Boy Scouts of America ruled this summer to allow gay leaders into their organization and as a result, most of my family is leaving Boy Scouting. By the end of the year the Cub Scout Troop and Boy Scout Troop that I have grown up around will cease to exist.

Trans-genders are on the rise as well. A dear sweet boy that I have known from birth now comes to our bus stop (which meets right outside our house), dressed as a girl. He is only 9.

People I care for are in "casual" and sexual dating relationships. They have sex and break up. Then they wonder why their hearts are so messed up.

Friends of mine get high and drunk just for the thrill of it and do stupid things that put me to shame to even think about. They think their actions don't effect anyone but they definitely do!

Is nothing sacred anymore? I just want to cry and scream. Our world, in an attempt to please themselves have traded the truth of God for a lie (Romans 1:25). Why do people do this?! Do you not understand that God's ways are best? Do you not understand that this will only lead to pain and disaster?

What used to be barely shared behind closed doors is now shouted from the rooftops. People try throwing words like "equality" and phrases like, "I can do what I want" around in an attempt to make everything acceptable.

People try to put their own spin on the Bible and sit back with fear of offending someone instead of speaking truth. How timid we have become in the things that matter!

I am all for love and peace, but sitting down when wrong is done is not the way to accomplish that. Just because we close our eyes to something does not mean it will go away! Evil is not made good just because we say or feel it should be so!

Ephesians 4:14-15 words it perfectly, "Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church."

How dare we stay silent and sit by when blatant evil is done and still call ourselves followers of Christ! When you love someone, you speak truth. They certainly don't have to listen, but you can definitely do your part.

Dear ones...if we do not put our stand based on God's Word and do not waver even in the face of opposition, then we look just like the world!

I cannot control the actions of others, but I will not sit by in fear. This is our time to shine brightest because the world is becoming increasingly darker! Will we choose to stand for truth? Will we choose to stand on the Word of God? Will we be bold?

Alone, I am powerless, but with Christ, I am made bold and fearless. "The LORD is my light and my salvation--so why should I be afraid? The LORD is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?" Psalm 27:1 Choose to stand for truth!

I will leave you with another passage from Ephesians 4:17-30

"With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity.

But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.

 

So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

 

If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need.  Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

 

And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption."

Treasure Each Moment

Time. Something that none of us seem to have enough of.

The number one excuse for why we didn't go to the gym, why we never got around to shopping for groceries, and why we didn't have time to play with our children.

There are 7 days in each week, 24 hours in each day, 60 minutes in each hour, and 3,600 seconds in each hour. That sounds like a lot, but somehow we don't seem to find time to do the things that should matter the most.

We are all on the clock. Today will not last forever; our lives will not last forever.

To realize the value of one year, ask a student who failed a grade.

To realize the value of one month, ask a mother who gave birth to a pre-mature baby.

To realize the value of one week, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of one hour, ask the soldier and his wife who are waiting to meet after months apart.

To realize the value of one minute, ask a person who missed the train.

To realize the value of one second, ask a person who just avoided an accident.

To realize the value of one millisecond, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Time is precious. We make time for the things that matter. If you want to know the things a person values most, look at where they spend the majority of their time.

Matthew 6:21 says it best I think, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Where we spend our time, energy, money, and thoughts is where our hearts are.

It may feel like we have forever, but each moment is a gift. We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and a mystery. No one is guaranteed another day; all we have is the present.

"Live Like We're Dying"

By Kris Allen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6jnynVLfLA

Lessons From Boy Scout Camp

6.5 weeks of lessons learned, skills developed, and patience tested. Late nights, long days, lots of laughter, sweat, and, at times, frustrated tears.

Boy Scout camp counselor. That was the title I held the bulk of my summer. I was one of five female staffers in a sea of about fifty staff total.

It was a summer of "firsts"....

First time being a paid camp counselor.

First time living in a tent for more than two days at a time.

First time being away from home for more than a week at a time by myself.

First visit to Patient First.

First time being in a rowboat....at 6 A.M. no less!

First time staying up until 3 A.M. talking about life with my fellow staffers.

Yes, I had lots of "firsts."

I had lots of learning experiences too....

Discovering how different people communicate and learning how to best communicate with them.

Dealing with people who didn't think I should be at camp, much less be teaching.

Learning how I say something and when I say it, is just as important as what I say.

Learning how to live in a family of guys.

Learning how to teach skills that I barely know myself.

Learning how to ask for help.

Learning how to love different people where they were.

Learning how to laugh at myself.

The list could go on and on!

I would say the one thing that stood out to me the most this summer is that going the extra mile makes a difference, especially when done in the spirit of the Scout Oath and Law.

To do your best in a cheerful and organized manner, even when you feel tired, sweaty, and have very little idea what you are doing, goes a long way in setting an example for the Scouts and staff around you.

If the boys see you having fun, they will be more willing to jump into tasks and learn new skills. There will always be tedious tasks to do at camp, but a song or a word of encouragement can definitely help lighten the mood.

If the boys see you making the effort, they are more willing to be receptive to what you have to say. Actually learn the names of the boys you are around and something about them. There is something special about being at a camp of 300 boys and knowing that someone took the time to try to learn your name.

Lastly, if the boys see you make mistakes and try again, they are more likely to keep trying until they get it right. Everyone makes mistakes, but the failing does not come in the falling down, but in the staying down. So you had a rough day? It's okay. Tomorrow is a new day and the sun will rise. The boys will watch to see what your reaction to a situation is and likely follow suit.

Being on camp staff was 6.5 weeks of unforgettable lessons and memories, that's for sure. There was never a dull moment and every moment was worth anything I may have sacrificed over the summer. It was truly a summer of a lifetime!

 

We never fail when we try to do our duty, we always fail when we neglect to do it.

Lord Robert Baden-Powell

Let Your Light Shine

This is a fiction piece I wrote based on an experience I had a few years ago.

Emily scanned the room, analyzing every person. Her gaze came to rest on a young man who sat in chair with crutches nearby; pain and concentration etched on his face as he lifted a ten pound weight.

“I wonder what he did.”

As if sensing her stare, he raised his head and their eyes met. She smiled and he smiled back briefly before continuing his exercise, but not before Emily noticed the bright light in his eyes.

“I wonder if he is a Christian.”

A nurse bringing out new bandages interrupted her ponderings. “I need to wrap your wrist,” she said. Inwardly, Emily groaned. “How much longer do I have to wear this bulky thing?” Emily asked glancing with disdain at her scarred wrist.

With a sympathetic look, the nurse answered, “Another two weeks and then you will likely be fitted for a brace; that accident really did a number on your wrist and we need to give it time to heal properly. I know it feels like forever, especially as young as you are.”

Emily nodded as her attention was again drawn to the young man who was now bouncing a ball against a wall nearby. She flinched as the tightening of the bandage brought her back to reality.

“That should be tight enough,” the nurse said cheerfully as she secured the bandage with a couple of pieces of medical tape. “Now we can have you work on some muscle building in your arm. That way, when your cast does come off, you’ll be stronger.”

She showed Emily how to pull on a bungee cord attached to a wall while sitting in a chair near the young man Emily had been observing earlier.

Emily did as the nurse had demonstrated and was told to do fifty more repetitions. By fifteen reps, she was already wishing the exercise was over, and by twenty-five, she was breathing hard and sweating. The nurse told her to take a break and then go back to it.

As Emily slumped back into the chair and rubbed her sore arm, she felt someone watching her. She turned to see the young man sitting in a chair, also resting between repetitions.

Their eyes met. Emily was again struck by the light in his eyes. They starred at each other until Emily blurted out, "You’re a Christian, aren’t you?”

Her face turned beet red as she realized what she had just said. She was stuttering an apology when she noticed the easy smile spreading across his face.

“Yes, I am; and you are too.”

She nodded at she looked at him in speechless silence. His easy smile remained as he said, “I knew from the moment you walked in that you were a Christian because of the way your eyes shone and how you carried yourself. You walked as though you knew that you belonged to God and not the world.”

She gapped at him for a minute and then a tumble of words came pouring out, “I knew you were one too by the light in your eyes. You just seemed so peaceful and nice. I felt like God was in the room.”

His smile widened as he nodded. “Yes, Christ fills me with peace and it just reflects from the inside out.”

She nodded as she finally returned his smile.

They talked for a few more minutes until the nurse came in and fussed at them for not doing their exercises.

“This isn’t socializing time,” she said with a hint of amusement.

The two exchanged smiles as they returned to their respective exercises.

As Emily was getting ready to leave, the man came over to her and said, “Keep being a light. There are lots of people in this world that need hope and we know the Maker and Definition of hope.  We might as well share the Source of it.”

Emily smiled and nodded as she reached out to shake his hand. He surprised her by pulling her into a hug. When he pulled back, he grinned. “We’re both part of the family of God and where I come from, family give each other hugs!

She smiled. “Thank you for showing me what letting our light shine means and thank you for sharing what you see in me. You’ve been very encouraging.”

He gently took her hand and looked her in the eye. “It was never me that you saw, but Christ in me.”

She nodded as she squeezed his hand and turned to make her way out the door.       

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16 (New International Version)

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.” James 3:13 (New International Version)

“Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.” Philippians 2:15b (New Living Translation)

You Are Enough

You try and fit in.

 

You try and meet the expectations that the world sets....skinny....beautiful....plays this....does that....knows this fact....knows this person.

 

You try to be that person that no one can touch.....invincible....brave; nothing can get you down.

 

And you fail.

 

Time and time again....you fail.

 

Beloved, hear me when I say this: God never made you to look like everyone else, walk like everyone else, talk like everyone else.

 

He didn't make you out of a mold of what everyone else expects.

 

He didn't give you unique characteristics and talents just to ignore them.

 

YOU are who He made; as you are!

 

So you don't fit in with the rest of the world.

 

So you can't seem to ever be "good enough."

 

So you aren't invincible.

 

You were never made to be those things anyway....

 

You were made to stand out as a light for Christ with your own unique talents.

 

You were made to be broken so God could strengthen you when you seek Him.

 

You were made to look, walk, and talk like Christ.

 

He is the only one you should be seeking after to be like!

 

So throw away that beauty magazine.

 

Stop trying to please people, because chances are, no matter what you do, you are going to displease someone.

 

Don't look out at the world with all it's standards and expectations.

 

Look up and in!

 

God has a great plan for you; just as you are. YOU are made in the image of God, not in the image of the "cool" kids down the street; not in the image of the model on the cover of that magazine; not in the image of your parents or friends. He made you in His image.

 

You shine because God made you.

 

You shine because you are not a copy.

 

You shine because you are perfect in God's eyes.

 

You shine because YOU. ARE. ENOUGH!



"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!

Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it."

Psalm 139:13-14

Worshiping In The Waiting

I have spent a lot of my life waiting.

Waiting on the time to be right. Waiting on God to work. Waiting on God to do as He sees best. Waiting to see how He will lead me to spend the rest of my life. Waiting on the time to date. Waiting on the time to speak. Waiting on the time to act. Waiting....

Lately, God has been reemphasizing a truth to me: Worship in the waiting.

There is a quote that says, "Patience is not based on how LONG you wait, but your ATTITUDE while you wait."

Sometimes we can wait months and years for something we wanted an answer to now. Sometimes we can wait a lifetime and never quite know if we have the answer to something. Even still, we should worship.

How we wait can be worship. How we minister to others in the waiting can be worship. How we share what God is teaching us can be worship. How we pray in the waiting can be worship. There are many ways to worship in the waiting.

Another one of my favorite quotes says, "Faith does not eliminate questions, but faith does know Who to take them to."

"Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:10

God has a plan and I trust Him to reveal it in His time, if it be His will. In the meantime, I will not knock on a door that has been closed or that has yet to be opened. It is a waste of my time.

My time on this earth is short, but I can choose to spend it wisely. I can choose to minister to others. I can choose to let God use me. I can choose to worship in the waiting and take advantage of what God has given me now. I can choose to have faith. 

 

"For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1

"While I'm Waiting" by John Waller

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzNyvnC2-1k

 

Bittersweet Musings

I haven't written in awhile. Not because I haven't wanted to, but because I have been so busy and stressed. However, today seemed like a good day to sit down and write.

The summer of 2013 I was a volunteer at a non-profit Christian organization called the Sophie House. The Sophie House was founded by Kimberly Tillem and it's mission is to: "Provide housing, healing, encouragement and hope for women and children." While I was a volunteer, I worked under Cathe Myers.

That summer changed my life. I came in with a desire to do something different with my summer and left with a new view on who God was and how I should live as a Child of His. Throughout the summer, I helped stock the food pantry and sort through donations. I hung clothes and did odds and ends. Mostly though, I just observed Cathe.

Women and families would come in and Cathe would listen to them. She ministered and prayed expectantly. She knew that God was going to act in big ways.....and He did!

I saw her lay hands on someone who was physically hurting and pray over them and their pain would disappear. In that, I came to believe in the power of prayer and miracles.

I heard her say just what people needed to hear, at just the moment they needed to hear it. In that, I came to believe in the power of a timely word.

I felt how she would enter a room and people would instantly be put at ease. In that, I came to understand the power of a Godly woman.

She set the example of what a Godly woman should look like. She did something people rarely do....she didn't just listen to what people said, she heard what they might not verbally say.

The Sophie House became a place I could come and feel at home. I could work hard or just sit and listen. As time passed, I became more familiar with the people that came in to the Sophie House. I felt comfortable praying for people. My faith came alive!

When my family walked through a desert time, it was the people at the Sophie House that made me feel welcome. They reaffirmed me and prayed for me.

In a few weeks, the Sophie House will be destroyed in order to make room for a new sanctuary that the Church wants that the Sophie House sits on. It is a bittersweet feeling indeed.

No one is quite sure what will happen beyond the building we have currently. Since my time there, the Sophie House has changed operators and has grown in leaps and bounds. God has been good and faithful. He will continue to be.

I am coming to realize that though the building gave me a place to go, it was the people that made it special.

Regardless of whether the Sophie House relocates at some point, takes a new form, or ceases to exist, I will not forget the things I learned through the people there. I will not forget the ways I grew in my faith. I will not forget what I saw God do!

 

"But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren." Deuteronomy 4:9

Life Lessons From Scouting: Do Your Best

If you are at all familiar with the Boy Scouts of America, you know that we hold a motto that says: "Do your best."

 

As a Ventureer, this is something that I often hear and it is something that I believe should be applied to more than just Scouting.

 

Scouting is more than just an activity, it teaches life skills, but what is the point of learning life skills if you do not put them into action?

 

In life, we must do our best. 

 

An everyday example of this is that I take a cycle class twice a week and though it proves to be a challenge every week, I keep going and doing my best.

 

Sometimes I can get 20 miles in and sometimes I can only get 12 miles in. My goal is not how far I can go, as much as it is how much I give. I would rather leave a class knowing that I gave it my all, then to wonder if I could have given more.

 

One of the most crucial parts of doing your best is that it is YOUR best, not someone else's best. Your best is not going to look like someone else's best because you are not them. Comparing yourself to others will usually only prove to frustrate, more than motivate.

 

Doing your best helps develop perseverance, courage, and strength of character. It makes boys, men and girls, women.  

 

A quote by Sir Robert Baden-Powell says that, "No one can pass through life, anymore than he can pass through a country, without leaving tracks behind, and those tracks may often be helpful to those coming after him in finding their way." 

 

This is one of the things that makes up the core of Scouting. What we do today affects tomorrow. By doing our best, we are setting a positive example and making a difference. It may not be a widespread difference, but one cannot change the world in one day, only one person at a time and it starts with you.

 

I leave you with this quote by Sir Robert Baden Powell that was found in a letter to all Scouters shortly after he had passed away: "Try and leave this world a little better than you found it and when your turn comes to die, you can die happy in feeling that at any rate you have not wasted your time but have done your best." 

 

 

My Ninevah

Tonight my youth minister spoke on the story of Jonah. Even non-believers are familiar with this story.

 

God calls Jonah to go to the most sinful and wicked city around.....Ninevah. Jonah is afraid and runs in the opposite direction. God allows a huge fish to swallow Jonah and then spit him out after 3 days. God calls Jonah again to go to Nineveh and Jonah goes begrudgingly. Jonah prophesies and the people repent.

 

Cool story, right? It still relates us today. Each of us have or will have our own "Ninevah." It may not be a foreign country, but it will be a place out of our comfort zone.

 

God may call us to go somewhere or talk to someone where our faith, reputation, and ego may be put on the line. We will have to trust in God and know that He has a plan, no matter how bad things may seem.

 

This got me thinking about my Ninevah.

 

This summer I will be working at Boy Scout Camp. It is called Boy Scout Camp because it is for....well....boys. That means that the majority of the staff are guys too. So I am one of maybe 4-5 gals.

 

I have very little experience teaching this age group and I know maybe 6 people.....tops.

 

I will be analyzed and watched constantly because I kind of stick out, not only as a newbie, but as a female.

 

I will be surrounded by many different types of people and be put in many different circumstances and scenarios.

 

However I believe that God has opened doors and called me here. Yes, I question my decision a couple times a day, at least. Yes, I am terrified, excited, and a bit crazy. Yes, there are much easier ways I could spend my summer.

 

Instead, I choose this. I choose to go to Ninevah. It is crazy....crazy enough that I know that the idea could not be my own.

 

Doors have opened for me to get more experience with this age group. Doors have opened for necessary training. Doors have opened for me to be in this place at this time. I cannot ignore that!

 

Despite the uncertainty of it all, the God I serve holds me and all my steps. I can be afraid but I will not live afraid.

 

God is calling me to face my Ninevah and I will go!

 

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1

 

Never Seen a Hearse With a Trailor Hitch

It never ceases to amaze me when I look around the world that I live in how much "stuff" we have and how we seem to always crave more.

Cars, food, shoes, money, books, this, that, and the other! We are surrounded by "stuff."

Now, just to clarify, I am not saying that all our "stuff" is bad. Some of it we need to survive and function is our world, but when do our needs and wants become selfish and discontentment?

We have all heard the phrase, "The one with the most toys wins." However, we all know that isn't really true.

No matter how rich, popular, or well off you are, your toys cannot buy the things that bring meaning to life.

Think about it a minute.....

Love, laughter, peace, joy, hope; those things cannot be gained by toys and "stuff."

I believe the line of selfishness and discontentment is crossed when our "stuff" becomes more important than family, friends, people in general, and God.

I heard a song the other day that really highlighted this thought. It is a newer country song called "Trailer Hitch" by Kristian Bush. I was shocked to hear it on a secular radio station, but the song lyrics rang true:

"I don’t know why, know why
Everybody wanna die rich
Diamonds, Champagne,
Work your way down that list.
We try, everybody tries
Tries to fit into that ditch
You can’t take it with you when you go
Never seen a hearse with a trailer hitch
Never seen a hearse with a trailer hitch."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lf-fXn8z1LA

 

This song echoes a verse that can be found in 1 Timothy 6:6:

 

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."

 

We cannot "out-give" God. He blesses us with possessions, talents, and certain experiences so that we can bless others. At the end of our days, how we live will not be marked so much by what we have, but by what we gave away. Why not make the most of the time we have?

 

 

 

 

 

My Grace Is Sufficient

Overwhelmed.

That is how I feel right now.

A lot of different things are running through my head and the thoughts that see to dominate them all are:

• "Will I be good enough?"
• "Will I make a mess of this whole thing?"
• "I am under-qualified!"
• "Am I making a big mistake?"
• "Did God really not open doors?"
• "What if....."

And so the list goes on. I am nervous, excited, and terrified. This is what it feels like to take a leap of faith.

As I sit here and these thoughts run through my head; competing for the dominant spot of doubt, this verse comes to mind:

"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

"Now wait a minute, Lord....that isn't of much comfort, I still have to face this!"

My grace is sufficient.

"But God, I could totally blow this whole thing!

My grace is sufficient.

"I am under-qualified!"

My grace is sufficient.

"But what if...."

Beloved, My grace is sufficient for all your doubts and fears. You have taken the leap of faith, now leave the details in My hands. I am with you! You need not be afraid. I created you and loved you before you were born. I promised that I had plans to prosper you and to give you hope and a future. I have never left you and I never will. I have brought you this far, choose to trust me with every moment of the rest of this adventure.

It may not always be easy. It may not always be painless. It may bruise you and push you to your limits, but never doubt that I have a plan! I am molding you into a woman after My heart. Trust me and hang on....for My grace is sufficient!

A Valentine's Day Post

Two weeks ago I wrote a Scouting blog post and suddenly, I became popular in the Scouting world! Overnight my blog post went viral and I had all kinds of "super scouters" emailing me. It was incredibly humbling, but now that things have settled down, I think I will go back to being the blogger of random posts that maybe someone will find entertaining or relatable.

That being said.....I really am not a fan of Valentine's Day. The cat is out of the bag! No going back now!

Don't get me wrong....I like what it stands for (*love* is case ya'll haven't had enough coffee to function today). I love the adorable stuffed animals, pretty flowers, and funny captions all over Facebook.

However, Valentine's Day is a painful reminder of things lost (if you're thinking along the lines of a boyfriend kind of thing....stop thinking.)

Last Valentine's Day had me attending a funeral and watching the world as I knew it slowly crumble (though I am not sure I truly grasped that at the time). My comfortable "bubble" popped and the year that has followed has brought many tears and much heartache.

HOWEVER (don't start feeling sorry for me yet, peeps), that time brought me closer to God. It really blew the doors open for me to experience Agape love. A love that holds you together when you have no will left. A love that brings people into your life to love on you. A love that gives you a reason to get up and fight another day. A love that allows you to be still.

Was it easy? Heck, no. Do I feel stronger? Not really. Am I stronger? Probably. Did I learn where my true source of strength can be found? Yes.

This Valentine's Day will probably find me sitting at home singing, "Everybody's got somebody but me....," but I also will be looking back at the bitter-sweetness of this whole year.

See, Valentine's Day should be more than a day. Love is a verb and something I believe that should be put into practice daily. Love was never meant to be limited to a day....if it was, it wouldn't really be love.

True love is something that I believe that you can only begin to fathom when you have experienced the love of God. Love never fails and love never loses hope. In that I find my comfort.

Time does heal all wounds and as time passes, I am sure I will begin to really appreciate Valentine's Day again. In the meantime....Happy Valentine's Day, ya'll! I hope you feel loved :)

"Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

1 Corinthians 13:7