Dating, the way I see it, has a very "me" mentality. It is more about what you can get than what you can give. I am speaking from the view of my generation of teenagers. Dating is about getting to know someone in a very intimate way that often leads to heartache and disagreements because the two people in the relationship are looking for temporary pleasure, not a long term commitment. I believe that dating, in its present context, is not only unhealthy, but displeasing to God.
I do believe in courtship, however. Courtship IS NOT the same thing as dating. Courtship IS a model of the cross. It is a relationship centered on Jesus, then those around you, and then it is about ya'll. It is selfless. It is about serving others and pleasing God more than it is about what one can get out of the relationship.
I believe that Courtship is how God intends relationships, where a male and female are interested in each other, to be. Courtship is ultimately intended for a life long relationship. However, it is on the bases of putting God first, setting an example for others, and building each other up.
Courtship is less stressful for 2 big reasons (at least two that came to mind immediately).
1. Courtship isn't based on how "fast" or "slow" you go like dating is. You are trying to build spiritual and mental bonds, not physical ones. Sex, cuddling, and kissing are all nice (And I in no way condone them, but that is another topic all together!), but in the end, they are never, and I repeat: NEVER, the strong foundation of a relationship!
2. There is no "breaking up" in Courtship. If used the way God intends, there is a "no regrets" policy. Yes, there is a possibility that you may part ways, but during your courtship, you are getting to see another human's heart and mind, not their body. Knowing those things is no cause for regret.
Bonus: You will also not have a ton of baggage when you DO get to the alter because courtship IS. THINKING. LONGTERM!
Courtship must have boundaries, just like dating (but it often doesn't). Courtship may look a little different for everyone.
As I emphasized several times....Courtship is not really a physical relationship because that is not the bases of it (Got that yet?) In my life, this would prove especially true. I have chosen to refrain from kissing before I am engaged because I feel that it is taken far too lightly in my generation. It is given without much thought or consequence. I want my kisses to mean something. I also made a choice to not have sex outside of marriage because it is a temporary pleasure that should only be enjoyed with the man that I have sworn in a marriage to spend the rest of my life with.
So, with all that being said, I never want to date. I am looking for a courtship.
When I choose to do things God's way, I know that He'll bless my desire to please Him.
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