This past week has been quite a whirlwind of emotions and decisions. Things were said that maybe shouldn't have been said. Apologies were given that had to be given. More tears have been cried than I care to talk about, much less write about. I went from frustration to anger to sadness and then all the way back through a couple of times. Still, as I sit here, I find I am at peace.
Peace is an interesting word associated with a nation not at war or a calmness found at the beach. It tends to give a connotation that a lack of chaos exists in that moment. However, I would say that peace is not based on circumstances or people, but on where your identity is found. It isn't based so much on how you feel as who you are.
Let me explain. This past week, I have felt like crud (how's that for bluntness?). All I have wanted to do is cry and, at times, throw something (whether at someone or just myself depended on the moment). I threw myself into school and serving others, as I generally tend to do when I want to forget my circumstances. I wrote 50 postcards and did two weeks of school in less than one. That didn't bring me peace though. Nothing you do can really makes you forget what breaks your heart. At the end of the day, we all have to face our fears, heartaches, and demons.
In the silent of the night, the tears fell and with them, I poured out my prayers. I went back to the one thing that I knew to be true no matter how much my world was shaking. I went back to God. I cried and I yelled at Him. I asked questions and I begged for answers. Then, when I was all spent, I listened.
In the calm, I was reminded of who I am.
I am a Child of God.
Though my mind may doubt itself and I may be struggling, I know who I am. I am held by the King of all creation. My Father. My first and deepest love.
My God died on a cross for me. He gave me life and breathe. He loves me unconditionally (which alone would be enough!). He gives me a living hope. He holds my tears and hears my prayers. He answers my pleas and replaces my mourning with joy.
He is my Savior and my God. In Him, I find who I am and that is why I have peace.
I heard a Christian song lyric yesterday by Will Regan that says, "There is no place I'd rather be than here in Your love."
This lyric rings so true. God's love is all-consuming. His hope is all powerful. His peace is enough.
There is no place I would rather be.
"Set A Fire" by Will Regan and United Pursuit Way
No comments:
Post a Comment